A frayed and threadbare Action Squid this morning. The gravity of a heavy week has pressed, crushed and forcibly condensed this shallow mind like the giant-steel-Venus-Fly-trap / car-destruction-apparatus that so effortlessly demolished my first motor vehicle (SEAT Ibiza: Salsa Edition, neon pink, street name: 'The Panther'). I am tired beyond tiredness. My capacity for meaningful thinking has been reduced to almost nothing.
That being said, it's inadvisable to say these sorts of things lightly. So allow me to elaborate.
Life Problems
- Work is eating me alive
- Housemate situation temporarily fucked
- Boiler still working only sporadically and as if on its own agenda
- Cheryl Cole dropped from US X Factor
- May have lost my magnifying glass
- Family
- Suffered crippling indignity of super-hot receptionist in my building today asking me why I've been listening to the same song on my iPod so loudly as I walk past her in the morning that she's been counting the days I've had it on (seven)
- Annoying clicking sound in my knuckles which could be indicative of future arthritis
- Largo
Life Solutions
- Cope
- Sort it
- Sort it, aggressively
- Call Simon Cowell and beg for clemency
- Buy another magnifying glass for detailed search around the office for missing magnifying glass
- Sort it, diplomatically
- Get some new music / enter office by different door
- Stop 'o knucklo redentor' - my intensive all-encompassing knuckle cracking regime
- Cope
I know what you would say on most of these points. It's all in hand.
Your loving friend,
Action Squid
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