Dear Octopus,
Today was a productive day. I'm currently riding the wave of a fairly intense sugar rush, having consumed a fairly sizeable pot of cola cubes, which a disdainful Clare chastised me for at length. I've now agreed to go on the Atkins Diet with her in the new year. Apparently one can eat huge amounts of meat, vegetables and dairy, but no carbohydrates. I wonder if this will work to the desired effect (ie: allowing me to eat cola cubes again).
The fact that my bathroom light is broken, coupled with the now heinous seasonal darkness at all hours of the living day, means that I have not seen myself whilst showering or urinating for nearly a week. Honksy has lent me her camping torch, but it has proven wholly inadequate. It means that I've now had to create an elaborate regime for maintaining personal hygiene, all of which has to be memorised, even down to minute details; such as which tube contains toothpaste and which one is the E45 cream left by the bathroom's previous incumbent, and which I am loathe to have destroyed for fear of government reprisals. The scheme has had some benefits though; I've devised a game called 'shampoo lottery rollover', whereby I regularly buy different varieties of shampoo and then in the darkness of the shower decide which one I'm going to use purely based on smell. I do have a favourite, but as I can't see anything I don't know which one it is. It's quite viscous.
The housemate with whom Honksy so feverishly fell in platonic-lady-love on Monday returns tonight for a second viewing. I hope, for all our sakes, that she accepts. Pongo and I are pleased about the idea of a girl replacing Belle; two men and two women gives a gender balance similar to that of the principle characters in the hit 90's television sitcom 'Friends.' I am, in this instance, a Chandler, if only because I'm definitely not Joey.
My programming idea yesterday wasn't as clever as I first thought. I found out in Cafe Nero.
Your loving friend,
Action Squid
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