Simon, Clare and I had an interesting discussion this morning regarding money laundering. It's quite a profitable business if you can stick its flagrant illegality, which made me think of potential new techniques for personal - if nefarious - financial advancement.
- Buy a restaurant and say that people came for dinner when they didn't. It's very difficult to prove that the stock you might say you had bought was spurious, and it wouldn't be too unusual for the majority of custom to be paid in cash. I now think that the kebab shop at the end of my road might be doing this.....it closes at 5.30pm every day. And who wants donner meat and chips with garlic sauce before then?
That actually is my only idea. But it's quite an interesting one.
We appear to have found a new housemate; a musical Welshman. He seems a nice chap, and plays the saxophone. I have often lain on my sofa on a Saturday morning, trying to balance a pen on the bridge my nose, and wished that said action of repetitive and futile endeavour could be accompanied by the opening bars to 'Careless Whisper.' Hopefully he can provide this service. Otherwise he may find his tenure in The House Of The Silver Dragon is brought to an abrupt and untimely conclusion. He is scheduled to move in next Saturday.
Also, headaches are getting much worse. All the time now. Started two weeks ago. Am considering sawing off my head and flushing it down the third floor disabled toilet. Everyone in the office not on my pod is irritating me. Everyone. Don't know if the irritation is causing the headaches, or the headaches are causing the irritation. Either way, something has to give.
Your loving friend,
Action Squid
No comments:
Post a Comment